Mother’s Day: Hindsight

Mother’s Day: Hindsight

Ah, Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day is not one of my favorite holidays. In the weeks and days leading up to it, I get a lot of anxiety. That anxiety leads to a lot of thoughts. Those thoughts lead me to take stock in all the things I’ve done wrong in the 25 years I’ve been a mom.

My husband, while a very sensitive man, tends to keep the day on the down-low. In the past, he’s (with the help if the chil’ren) made me things I treasure to this day. He “forces” me to sit and do what I wish for the day. He’ll either made dinner or take me out.  But Mother’s Day is also a reminder of losing his own mom with whom he was extremely close. To hear him tell it, she was a remarkable woman, and I wish I’d had the opportunity to meet her. So, a low-key day is probably the best idea.

Except it never fails that all my doing nothing on Sunday means I have extra things to do on Monday. But if that’s the worse thing I have to complain about, then I’m doing okay.

ducks-686098_640This year hit me hard. It’s the first year I’ve not cried at least once, which is progress considering prior years. But between my daughter in the middle of making a major life decision, my older son living “out of the country” in the words of the Army, and the youngest son days away from graduation, I felt sort of…bleh. I went and saw my mom for a bit, but she tends to be like me and doesn’t like “a fuss being made over her.” But other than that, I was alone all day. Even the animals were hiding in their respective corners.

I will always remember; however, this year was the year that the youngest signed his card to me, ‘Love.’ He’d quit doing that somewhere in middle school. Now that I recall, I did have a tear or two over that yesterday.

The few times I scrolled quit through social media, I saw a varying display of highs and lows.

At the very least, I know I’m not alone.

 

 

 

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