It started a few years ago.

Pick any two-player game with a chat feature [think Words With Friends] and random strangers – men – would request a game and then start a chat.

In the beginning, I was naive and would be friendly. After a few conversations quickly went lewd, I ignored all chats. Eventually, I deleted the game.

Then the DMs to Instagram started. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

I don’t understand how any self-respecting man would think private messaging a woman in hopes of starting up some kind of digital romance is a good idea. Of course, these men are brave behind a screen as I doubt they would approach a woman in a public place and speak in the same way, straight out of the gate.

I’ve been playing a new version of an old game. And wouldn’t you know, the very first unknown male player slid right into the DM and took a shot.

He was quickly deleted.

A couple of nights ago, I received a request to start a game. The name sounded vaguely familiar, and we had a mutual friend.

I accepted the game and played my turn.

The next day I see I have a message from him. And so it begins:

Dude: Hi. How are you?

Me: I’m well. And yourself?

D: Where are you from?

Hmm. That’s weird.

M: Tennessee

D: That’s cool. I’m originally from NYC but currently living in the Gulf of Mexico. 

Yes. He said “in.”

D: Are you happily married?

M: Yes

As soon as I answered his last question, I was back on the playing screen playing my turn. It took a minute or so, but I noticed things were different.

He resigned from the game.

Fine with me. I love it when the trash takes itself out.

***

I’ve talked to many a friend who’ve had similar issues with random messaging. What is the worst line you’ve been asked in a private message?