Long before the advent of the Internet, I’d learned that one doesn’t air one’s dirty laundry for the world to see.
The practicality of that, especially in light of the current accessibility of social media, is evident. Now words and pictures can be screenshot and saved, without the original posters knowledge. The written word has a tendency to leave lasting, and at times, irreversible damage.
As a writer, I communicate the best through the written word. I’m not always successful in conveying the point in which I need to get across, but I come closer 99% of the time than in a verbal discussion.
I try to keep things light and airy over here. To snapshot those laugh-out-loud moments in my life. This is a public forum, after all. Accessible to anyone with an internet connection and ability to search. I do try to keep it real, but I do have a career to think about.
Through a recent series of unfortunate events, I find myself unable to find the funny in the everyday moments at his current juncture. Fall, generally my most favorite time of the year, has shown me what other people see in this season. The changing of the leaves before they make their way to the ground and compost. The animals hoard nuts and berries hoping to create a stash enough to get them through what is predicted to be a not-so-nice winter. The grass goes dormant. The hoodies, scarves, and boots come out to protect us from the chill. (On those rare days we have a chill in Tennessee.) The skeletons come out of the closet, and it’s not for Halloween.
In the last five days, I’ve made some decisions I knew where inevitable. The details aren’t important. However, what I didn’t anticipate was the sheer heartbreak I’d feel.
Because I do find typing – regardless of subject- cathartic, I sat down four or five times yesterday to write. Something stopped me. A little voice in my head, maybe?
It’s not your story to tell.
I slept horribly last night. The worse I’ve slept in weeks. I don’t recall what happened in the middle of the night, but I had quite a mess to clean up this morning.
While straightening up this morning before starting my day, it occurred to me because I didn’t choose to handle my feelings in the best way I know how it manifested itself in an innocent albeit less desirable fashion.
Words can be cathartic. Words can be damaging. Words need to be chosen carefully. Acknowledgment is good. Specific details are typically unnecessary.
Sometimes it feels better to admit that life is constantly changing and that means those little cliffhangers to the next chapter aren’t always funny. Just wait though. Something good always comes after the rain.